Life well taken (Random rant of the morning)

Being defensive is my mark of insecurity. It has been something that God has really helped me with over the past couple years. It was brought to my attention a couple of years as ago by an old friend of mine, and their approval I really valued. Yet rather then taking their input as a loving push, I took it as a back handed slap. Very funny to look at it now, someone calls you defensive and you say "no I'm not" it some how leaves little room to argue. It is amazing to think about how a person's fears and insecurities affects their behavior. I was fearful of not being loved... so I became unloving in my behavior... the madness of being human. We claim to be logical in our thinking and actions but really deep down inside we are not. We seek love, but when we find it, we turn it away because it does not meet our standards or we are unsatisfied because "love" does not meet our exceptions that are unrealistic. It is these unreal expectations that we put on ourselves and on others that really mess with life. All I know is that today the fear of asking someone if I have offended them makes little sense to me. I am fearful of what in this situation? I already have said something dumb, why shouldn't I seek reconciliation? What is the absolute worst that will happen? The person may remain upset with me?

Communication is the point of

Communication is the point of the day. Without it no one will know peace, in any relationship whether familial or professional.

Why, when life is before

Why, when life is before me. does my heart desire death? I know that in the way of God there is life but I trade in the glory of God.

LIfe is more than worries

What is worry other then the self delusion that my over concern for something has a real impact on a problem in the world. That my concern is to small for God and to big for me to handle. Sometimes it comes from having security based on fragile things of this world. I freak out when I feel threatened or insecure, but I am confident in life when I trust in the one who made the world. How sad is it when I only trust in the person of Jesus for life after death, but I don't trust him in this life.

Spurgeon Devotional

December 27

Morning
“Can the rush grow up without mire?”
- Job_8:11
The rush is spongy and hollow, and even so is a hypocrite; there is no substance or stability in him. It is shaken to and fro in every wind just as formalists yield to every influence; for this reason the rush is not broken by the tempest, neither are hypocrites troubled with persecution. I would not willingly be a deceiver or be deceived; perhaps the text for this day may help me to try myself whether I be a hypocrite or no. The rush by nature lives in water, and owes its very existence to the mire and moisture wherein it has taken root; let the mire become dry, and the rush withers very quickly. Its greenness is absolutely dependent upon circumstances, a present abundance of water makes it flourish, and a drought destroys it at once. Is this my case? Do I only serve God when I am in good company, or when religion is profitable and respectable? Do I love the Lord only when temporal comforts are received from his hands? If so I am a base hypocrite, and like the withering rush, I shall perish when death deprives me of outward joys. But can I honestly assert that when bodily comforts have been few, and my surroundings have been rather adverse to grace than at all helpful to it, I have still held fast my integrity? then have I hope that there is genuine vital godliness in me. The rush cannot grow without mire, but plants of the Lord’s right hand planting can and do flourish even in the year of drought. A godly man often grows best when his worldly circumstances decay. He who follows Christ for his bag is a Judas; they who follow for loaves and fishes are children of the devil; but they who attend him out of love to himself are his own beloved ones. Lord, let me find my life in thee, and not in the mire of this world’s favour or gain.

Where I grew up.

Why?

Why another blog... aren't there enough self righteous know it alls out self publishing themselves until google runs out of server space? Maybe not... because aren't we all looking for significance? Don't we all want to do something with our lives that is bigger than ourselves? Literature has always been telling the same story. The story of the one who over comes. The story of one who does something different then the normal day in, day out, s.o.s.d.d. (Same old stuff different day) routine of life.

I am at home with my parents for Christmas. My Dad got "Julie and Julia" for my Mom and we watched it tonight. I really enjoyed the story of it. Full of laughs and made me want to do something different with my life, not just filling time. It was another story of someone coming from humble beginnings and rising above and taking life and living. it. (It also made me want to cook from "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" when I get back to my house, but thats another post.)

Christmas is about another story, from this same literary genre, the story of Jesus, and his humble beginning from a shed in a small town, to a world religion that has changed human history. That he rose above the norm of s.o.s.d.d. (Same old sin different day) and lived his life fully so we could too.

These stories inspire us to live a life that is more, a life that is complete, but only one of them saves us from what we deserve. Both may change our hearts and the way we live our lives. We may try to treat others with significance because someone who is an inspiration to us did, but only the gospel saves a man from what his heart truly wants. Both might change behaviors and actions but only one lives beyond our death. This might be why our heart's yearn to be like the characters in literature who rise above the norm, because we know is that is where we belong.