Life well taken (Random rant of the morning)

Being defensive is my mark of insecurity. It has been something that God has really helped me with over the past couple years. It was brought to my attention a couple of years as ago by an old friend of mine, and their approval I really valued. Yet rather then taking their input as a loving push, I took it as a back handed slap. Very funny to look at it now, someone calls you defensive and you say "no I'm not" it some how leaves little room to argue. It is amazing to think about how a person's fears and insecurities affects their behavior. I was fearful of not being loved... so I became unloving in my behavior... the madness of being human. We claim to be logical in our thinking and actions but really deep down inside we are not. We seek love, but when we find it, we turn it away because it does not meet our standards or we are unsatisfied because "love" does not meet our exceptions that are unrealistic. It is these unreal expectations that we put on ourselves and on others that really mess with life. All I know is that today the fear of asking someone if I have offended them makes little sense to me. I am fearful of what in this situation? I already have said something dumb, why shouldn't I seek reconciliation? What is the absolute worst that will happen? The person may remain upset with me?